Through these Diamond Eyes
by jokergirl94
Summary: He always said he would go out with a gun in his hand. Turns out this time he was right. No pairings. Death!fic


**Disclaimer: I don't own anybody in this story nor do I own the song by Shine down (Diamond eyes). **

**A/N: Once again another plot bunny that attacked me during Chemistry. It's a wonder I learn anything in that class. Mild spoilers up to present episodes.**

**Summary: He always said he would go out with a gun in his hand. Turns out this time he was right. **

"_I'm a grunt, Sam. You're not. You've always been the brains of this operation. And you told me yourself, you see a way out. You see a light at the end of this ugly ass tunnel. I don't. But I tell you what I do know, is that I'm going to die with a gun in my hand. Because that's what I have waiting for me, that's all I have waiting for me. I want you to get out. I want you to have a life, become a Man of Letters, whatever. You with a wife and kids and grandkids, living until you're fat and bald and chugging Viagara. That is my perfect ending and it's the only one I'm gonna get. So I'm gonna do these trials and I'm gonna do them alone. End of story." _

_-Dean (8.14 Trial and Error) _

"Dean come on stay with me." Sam yelled as he pressed bloody hands down harder against his brother's chest trying to stop the blood.

24 hours and 57 minutes earlier

"Guys I figured it out."

Dean stopped the artful sandwich making he was doing and walked over to where Kevin was pouring over the demon tablet and writing frantically on a post note.

"What do you have?" Sam questioned coming to stand next to his brother watching Kevin as he finished scribbling on the scrap of paper.

"I figured out the last trial." Kevin said looking up a trail of dried blood coming from his nose as he hadn't taken the time to clean it up from the last nose bleed hours ago.

Sam and Dean didn't say anything but they shared a look. This could end. It could end tonight and the gates of hell would be closed forever. No more families ripped apart, forced into a life they didn't want. No more Winchester families.

"What do we have to do Kevin?" Dean asked forgetting his sandwich in the kitchen and in full hunter mode.

Looking over his notes once more, "You need to get to the Gate in Wyoming. It says that you need to throw a…" Kevin paused looking through his notes until he found the post it note he was looking for, "a demon killing weapon and limb of the completer of the trial."

Sam gasped. A limb? What would he be able live without?

"Can you do that Sam? I know it sounds like a lot but I was doing some thinking. Throw in that knife that you guys are always using. It won't work after this anyway. Hopefully." Kevin answered grabbing some aspirin and chugging it down with some flat soda that was sitting next to the stone tablet.

Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing. Sammy, his Sammy, was going to have to lose part of himself to help save this damn world. A world that wasn't going to pause to give two shits about them once they had saved it again for the umpteenth time.

"What am I suppose to cut off? I can't exactly just chop of a leg or something." Sam exclaimed getting up to pace the room nervously cracking his fingers. Making Dean think.

"Finger." Dean whispered to himself starting to smile at his cleverness.

"Dean this isn't the time for you to start remembering your Busty Asian Beauties magazine. We have bigger problems at hand." Sam answered.

"No Jackass. Cut your finger off. You can live without that right Sex God?" Dean said laughing at the bright shade of red Sam's face had turned.

"What do you mean?"

"Cut your finger off and throw that in. It's a limb and you can live without and it'll give a helluva a story to share." Dean answered already packing up and getting ready to leave.

"That's it cut my finger off? That's all you have to say?" Sam asked angry at his brother's nonchalance about him losing a limb. He was beginning to think that Dean was turning back in to the person he was after Hell and Purgatory, the hardened hunter without humanity.

"Well do you want to cry about it? Because if you do let me grab the Kleenex first." Dean mocked and grabbed for the Kleenex sitting on the counter of the houseboat.

"No Dean and I think you know what I mean." Sam answered getting ready to fight causing Kevin to back off into the bathroom.

"Then I think you need to pull on your big boy panties and call Garth and let him know. We need to get this done now." Dean said grabbing their bags from where they had thrown them the night before when Kevin had called and said he was close to cracking the Third Trial.

"How can you even say that to me Dean?" The younger brother asked hurt crossing his face.

"How can I say what Sam? The truth? You signed up for these trials all by yourself big boy. If you would have stayed where I told you to this would be me right now." Dean said turning around to face his brother with something close to hate filling his green eyes, "I would trade anything in the world to be in your place right now Sam. But I'm not. So you need to get your act together and prepare yourself. We have a day until we reach Hell Gates but after that your gonna have to cowboy up and act like the warrior you hate yourself for becoming. Because right now I think losing your finger is the least of your worries." Dean finished and walked from the tiny kitchen and headed out to the Impala.

Sam stood in shock. It was then that Sam realized Dean never treated him like an equal but as a brother, a friend. He realized now that his role in this fight wasn't a little brother to protect but as a hunter, someone who had a trait that Dean didn't have, one that he couldn't pick up himself. Dean was counting on Sam to protect him. It was Sam's turn to do the protecting.

Pulling his phone from his pocket and dialing a familiar number, "Hey Garth. Yeah. Kevin figured it out."

SPN SPN SPN

"Back to where it all started." Dean said pulling the black muscle car up alongside the cemetery gates.

"Weird huh?" Sam commented from the passenger seat looking out at the moonlit headstones. Looking out he could see John holding Azaeal while Dean took the fatal shot with a bleeding forehead. He could see the Demons storming out of the Gates of Hell as Ellen and Bobby tried to slam them closed again. He could see himself shooting Jake and remembering the feeling of nothingness as he let the man's blood spray him.

He could remember standing against the Impala and finding out that Dean had sold his soul for him. Remembered promising to save Dean. Things had changed so much since then.

"You ok Sammy?" Dean asked looking at his brother with concern.

Sam nodded clearing his head. He had to go into this with a clear head. He couldn't risk messing this up for his brother. No not when he was so close to getting a normal life, with a girl and maybe a kid or a dog. Sam laughed remembering the little Yorkie chasing Dean down abandoned Colorado streets, ok maybe not a dog.

"Come on Sammy lets go." Dean said hearing Garth pull up behind them in his old station wagon.

"Right behind you Dean."

SPN SPN SPN

"So what's the plan?" Garth asked stepping out of his car to meet the brothers at the back of the open Impala trunk.

"Kevin said that we need to throw in a demon killing weapon," Dean said showcasing Ruby's knife, "and Sam needs to donate a limb to the creepy hell spawn themselves."

"We figured a finger would do the job just as well." Sam added grabbing his Beretta checking the ammunition before sticking it into his pants just as he had when Dean had first handed it to him after his abrupt jump back into the life after Jessica's death.

"Do we know what to expect?" Garth asked moving to his own arsenal and picking a handgun and knife.

"Not a damn clue." Dean said double checking his Colt and the antique one that was the key to Hell, "We need to be fast and efficient. Garth after Sam de-fingers himself I want you to get him help right away before he goes into shock. I'll close the doors."

Sam gasped, "You can't do that by yourself. Bobby and Ellen could hardly do it themselves last time. Remember?"

"Was a little occupied last time."

"Right. But there has to be another way." Sam said.

"I think we might have more help then you bargained for." Dean answered nodding his head in the direction of the trees outlining the cemetery where Benny was leaning against a giant oak, "You catch all that?" Dean yelled.

"I gotcha Brother." The Cajun accented voice called across the clearing.

Sam turned with outrage, "You called him?"

"He was available and I know he can handle himself under pressure which is what we need. Besides he wants the doors closed just as much as we do." Dean answered slamming the trunk closed and walked over to the cemetery gates with bolt cutters and broke the rusty lock.

"Ready boys?"

Sam nodded and followed in behind Dean and Benny while Garth paused before continuing on, "Damn idjits are going to be the death of me."

SPN SPN SPN

"Everyone is familiar with the plan?" Dean asked as they stood in front of the building that had caused them so much trouble. Everyone nodded in reply.

"Game time." Dean said and stepped forward and placed the colt into the lock and they all listened to it click until a final click when the doors came slamming open followed by a black cloud of escaping demons.

"NOW SAMMY! DO IT NOW!" Dean yelled getting back to one side of the door while Benny ran to the other.

Sam ran up to the side of the building bringing his left hand up against the wall and he brought Ruby's knife down across the pinky finger.

"AHHHHH!"

SPN SPN SPN

Dean turned to watch his brother walk towards the wall getting ready to separate himself from one of his fingers when he felt something pull him away from the door he was trying to not let fly all the way open. Next thing he knew he was flying through the air and crash landing on a headstone.

"Dean. Dean. Dean. I would have thought you had have learned by now. Nothing is as easy as it seems." A familiar English voice said cutting threw the mayhem only a few feet away.

"AHHHH!" Sam's scream filled the empty countryside.

"Seems like Moose is having some fun over there doesn't it."

Dean looked up and couldn't help but feel the overwhelming sense of déjà vu surrounding him but instead of looking up and seeing Yellow Eyes he was looking at Crowley, "Crowley."

"How does the saying go? That's my name don't wear it out?"

Sitting up straighter and reaching for his Colt stuck in the back of pants, "You know I'm feeling an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. But last time I was here it didn't work out so well for your little demon friend."

"Oh Yellow Eyes? Yeah that was rather unfortunate. But I have a feeling tonight will end much differently." Crowley answered hell fire glowing in his eyes as he stepped closer to Dean who raised the gun to point between Crowley's eyes.

"I wouldn't count on it."

"Oh Dean. It seems our few months apart have rotted your brain. Remember that little toy can't hurt me. You know that." He said stepping closer.

"But it can stop you until Sam gets the gates closed." Dean answered. Come on Sammy what are you doing.

"I guess I'll have to change that won't I?" The demon answered and waved his hand wiping the gun out of Dean's hand and into his own, "Would you look at the craftsmanship on these babies. Of course they aren't as good as they were in my day but I think they could still do the job." Crowley said admiring the gun and turned to aim it at Dean.

Dean froze when he was looking down the barrel of his own gun. Carefully moving he started to reach for his back up.

"I wonder what this does." Crowley asked. Dean looked up just in time to see Crowley pull the trigger twice.

In shock Dean looked down watching two identical crimson splotches grow on his chest.

"Opps."

SPN SPN SPN

"Come on Sam. We need to hurry. There isn't much time." Garth said urging Sam forward.

Sam nodded and bent down carefully to pick up the disembodied finger slicked with his own blood and started towards the door that was still producing the long black cloud of demons.

Coming to stop in front of the doors he saw swore he could see Hell fire and brimstone in the distance, "This is for Mom, Dad and Jess." And threw in the demon knife glinting red with blood followed by his cold, pale finger.

The reaction was instantaneous. The doors slammed closed without assistance dropping the colt on to the cracked steps in front of the building where it quickly turned to dust, its purpose as lock to the gate of Hell fulfilled. The sky was filled with lightening as all of the escaped demons died in the sky.

Sam laughed. It was finally over. They were done. He could go and get a girl and have a family. Dean could be the cool Uncle with the awesome car. Garth could go back to being a dentist or whatever it was that he did. Kevin could go to college and be back with his Mom. It was almost fitting when it started to rain.

Sam turned to congratulate his brother on a job well done but was confused when he couldn't find him, "Where's Dean?"

Benny looked around fangs started protrude from his gums. He swallowed heavily, "Don't know kid but I gotta go. Blood is driving me crazy." Before Sam could reply Benny was running off into the woods and away from them.

Surveying the graveyard through the rain that was becoming heavier by the minute Sam's eyes continued through the headstones but quickly turned back when he saw two slumped figures in the middle of the yard, "Dean!"

SPN SPN SPN

"Dean come on stay with me." Sam yelled as he pressed bloody hands down harder against his brother's chest trying to stop the blood.

Sam started shaking Dean's soaked body trying to get any hint of life from his brother, "Come on you can't do this to me." He yelled over the pounding rain making his brother look younger than he ever remembered seeing him with his blond hair pressed against his face showcasing freckles that he hadn't remembered seeing in a long time.

Looking over he could see Crowley's body still twitching from the mass exorcism that had taken place and was shocked to see a small hole right between his eyes. Looking down at his brother's hand he wasn't surprised to see his small back up sitting in his right hand.

"S'mmy." Dean whispered opening his eyes.

Sam looked down before yelling at Garth who was on the phone with one of his Doctor contacts, "He's awake." Looking back down at his brother, "So over dramatic Dean. You couldn't just follow the plan?" Sam joked.

"Sam. Remember back when this started? Back in Idaho? I told you that I wanted you to get out. Do it Sam. Get out, find a girl, get a dog. Hell get a Prius. Just get out." Dean whispered. Sam could hear air coming from Dean's chest and knew that one of his lungs had just collapsed, "I'm dying Sam."

"You aren't dying. I won't let you." Sam said crying.

"Please Sam. " Dean whispered again a bubble of blood popping in the corner of his mouth.

"Yeah Dean. I'll do it. You just need to hang on for me." Sam said pressing harder on his brother's chest as the rain continued to pour around them.

Suddenly Dean threw his head back and whimpered in pain, goddamn whimpered, before throwing panicked eyes to Sam and gasping for breath. The other lung had collapsed.

"I love you, bitch." Dean gasped out before his heart stopped beating.

SPN SPN SPN

"You know for a weird name you sure do a good job bartending Castiel." A woman that Cas noticed had looks that Dean would have been chasing after in a heartbeat.

"Thanks Shelly." Cas said wiping down the last table after close and put the last chair up. It was times like this that he regretted running away from the Winchesters. He was working in some dump along the highway maybe in the naïve hopes that one day they would both come walking through the doors and take him with them, "I'm done for the night. See you tomorrow."

He was about to walk out the door, trench coat on, when he felt a sudden pain in his chest closely followed by another one just a little lower. Gasping and sliding to the floor he had a sudden vision of a graveyard and Dean gasping and looking down as blood blossomed across his own t-shirt. As soon as the vision came it left but left behind the phantom pain of what were no doubt gunshots.

"Dean." He called as he disappeared from sight.

SPN SPN SPN

"No. Dean you can't leave me yet. I'm not letting you go yet." Sam cried shaking his head; bleeding hand and missing appendage forgotten.

Dean's vacant eyes stared up at Sam. It was almost as if they were piercing him to his very soul. He remembered watching Dean's eyes throughout his childhood. They were always soft and warm and inviting. It was the one thing everybody noticed about Dean. His eyes always betrayed the tough boy persona he tried to display. The last time he had seen those eyes was when he was ripped apart by the Hellhounds and taken as payment for his deal. But something changed after Hell. His eyes were hard. They had seen too much. Been through too much. When Sam got his soul back the eyes were even harder, determined, sad, and full of hate. But it wasn't until after Purgatory that they had made their final change. They were fierce. Tough as diamonds. The Emerald green eyes didn't have any emotion no matter how much Dean laughed or yelled or even flirted they never changed. Just the same hard, green diamond eyes.

"You went out swinging just like you wanted." Sam said wrapping his complete hand around Dean's loose one around the gun still dangling from his finger tips, "Damn you Dean. You left me here to have a normal life. But newsflash Jerk it won't ever be normal without you here. Tormenting me and my kids with your stupid cassettes and stupid movie trivia." Sam raged but couldn't find it in himself to be angry at Dean just angry at the circumstances.

"Sam? How is he?" Garth asked running up to him with the phone still in his grasp.

"He's gone Garth."

"Oh God. I'm sorry Sam." Garth answered stopping and walking in the other direction explaining the situation into the phone.

"Dean. I'm sorry I failed you tonight. I didn't protect you. You shouldn't have died tonight. You deserve this new life more than anyone I know and I'm sorry you won't get it." Sam whispered into Dean's ear holding his brother's body close against his chest in a final hug of sorts. Cradling him he heard the unmistakable sound of wings flapping behind him and turned to see Cas.

"Cas?" Sam questioned. They hadn't seen the angel since the Angel tablet debacle. Looking over the angel it seemed that he had done well for himself. He was wearing worn jeans with a faded band tee. Dean would have been proud.

"What happened?" Cas asked kneeling besides the brothers taking in the sight of the broken eldest Winchester.

"Crowley." Sam answered crying nodding over to the long since cooled body of the former King of Hell, "He's dead Cas. You have to do something. You have to bring him back." Sam answered with realization coming over him and started to shove Dean's limp body towards the angel.

"I can't Sam. I'm sorry." Cas said accepting the body but did nothing else.

"Damn it Cas. You have to." Sam yelled watching as a rain drop rolled down Dean's cheek as if he was crying.

"Sam, Dean went out swinging like he wanted. He went out like a hero which he is. I can't disrupt him from the paradise he is no doubt in. I'm sorry Sam." Cas answered and gently set the body down on the ground before standing up, "Dean is gone and my job is done as well. Have a nice life Samuel Winchester."

As the words left Castiel's mouth the bright white light of his grace flew from his eyes and mouth and the body of James Novak landed next to Crowley's.

"Good Bye Cas."

SPN SPN SPN

It was two days later in a field on Bobby's old plot of land that Garth and Sam held a hunter's burial for Dean.

They had just finished sharing stories about Dean when Sam with his bandaged hand dropped his lighter on the wrapped body lighting it up, "See you in the next life Jerk."

He could practically hear Dean tease, "See ya then bitch."

Sam started to walk back to the Impala which he knew he would be able to part with. Walking through the crowd of hunters that had come to say good bye to Dean he was stopped by a hand grabbing his arm, "Excuse me?"

Turning around Sam was surprised to see Lisa and a much older looking Ben standing behind him, "Can I help you?"

"I heard about your brother through one of my friends. I just couldn't help but find your brother's name very familiar. Did we know each other?" Lisa asked.

Sam bit his tongue. He knew that Dean would never want Lisa and Ben left with the burden of what had happened all those years ago brought back up and for them to be forced to deal with it, "No I don't think he did."

Shaking her head, "I'm sorry for bothering you then. Ben and I extend our sympathies." Lisa answered and quickly left gravel crunching under her high heels.

Sam looked up at the sky and laughed. This is exactly what Dean would have wanted. Bright blue skies without a cloud to be seen and his little brother alive to live another day, "I hope your happy bro."

SPN SPN SPN

It was 57 years, two ex wives, five children and 15 grandchildren later that Samuel Winchester. Demon hunter extraordinaire. Beloved Law Professor died. From the most normal thing imaginable. Heart Attack.

Sam went to bed that night laying on his side on the king size bed in the 'bat cave' as Dean had coined it looking at the picture of his brother, Garth and him on the night of the closing of the Hell Gates leaning against the Impala back when they were all in their prime. They all looked so young, "Miss you Bro."

SPN SPN SPN

Sam woke up and he could hear birds chirping around him. Sitting up he felt great. No pains from years of being thrown into walls or used a punching bag or being stabbed. Opening his eyes he saw he was in an unfamiliar room but it kind of looked like his apartment he shared with Jess during his college years. Going to rub his eyes Sam looked down at his left hand, his complete left hand, "What the hell?"

"Sam honey. Come on we are going over to your parent's for breakfast." Sam turned to the doorway and saw Jess standing dressed in a beautiful white sundress.

"Jess?" Sam whispered he couldn't believe his eyes. She looked as beautiful as the day he had seen her last.

"Yep. I'll explain later. Come on." Jess urged pulling Sam from his bed, "Come on go brush your teeth. I'll get you something to wear."

Wandering to the bathroom he stopped and admired his apartment. It was just as he remembered it. Right down to the toothpaste tube left uncapped on the sink. Looking in the mirror he was shocked. He looked like he did when he was just a young man. No more than 22 he had the bangs and everything. Smiling he knew, he just knew he had to be in Heaven. Quickly brushing his teeth sending foam everywhere he wiped his face and ran back to Jess who laid out a pair of jeans and his favorite grey shirt.

"Sam we are going to be late. Quit ogling me and get dressed. We have eternity to stare at each other creepily. Now hurry up Mister." Jess teased swatting Sam on the butt as she left.

SPN SPN SPN

"So this is it?" Sam asked coming to stand before the house he and Dean had visited in Lawrence. Their childhood home.

"Yep Sam this is it." Jess answered and was about to pull open the door when it opened and Sam was slammed to the ground by a blur.

"Sammy!"

Finally the blur decided on delivering a bone crushing hug, "Dean. Let Sam breath." Jess ordered playfully.

The blur stopped and took a step back. Leaving a surprised Sam to look over his brother. It was Dean alright but it wasn't as he remembered him. Dean appeared about 16 and as healthy as he could ever remember him being and with the playfulness that he could remember from their childhood shining in his eyes. No more diamond eyes.

"Dean."

"I missed you Sammy." Dean said giving Sam another hug. Sam was happy that Dean was way more affectionate here then he had been during life.

"You know now I'm the older brother now right?" Sam teased as Jess lead the two brothers to the house where John and Mary were waiting wrapped around each other.

"Think again bitch." Dean said punching Sam in the shoulder and started running for cover behind their parents.

"Jerk." Sam yelled after his brother as they came up the front steps.

"Come on Sam. We've been waiting for you." Mary said with a smile as she led her boys inside. Finally her family was home.

Turns out family was better than anything normal life had to offer him.

**A/N: Reviews please?**


End file.
